13 Backwards
by TeeLee123
Summary: Not everyone has a birthday to celebrate. A short story about my 2nd fave female character, the moody Android 18, the only woman to have kicked the Prince of All Saiyan's butt. Shh. We're not supposed to talk about it cuz Vegeta will straight up murder you.
1. Chapter 1

**~ 13 Backwards ~**

Everything was annoying her. The screaming kids that ran in circles around the booths. The woman who tilted her head back to laugh at every hilarious word uttered from her group at the table clear across the restaurant. The perky, musical tunes that played from the arcade games. Crying toddlers and whiney brats that threw a tantrum when they didn't win. And the mothers, who silently growled threats but were too worried of their seemingly perfect facade to properly discipline their little whelps.

It didn't help that her long blond strands of hair was sliding into her face, again!

"Eighteen, you're scaring the waiter." Krillin whispered.

Eighteen lifted her chin a fraction, shifting her blue eyes to the left to seize up their teenaged waiter. She gave him a little smile, trying to appear friendly, but the waiter began to sweat in response. Eighteen was the personification of frost, chilling every person she met, and no amount of smiling could change that. She was created to be a killer and it seemed every human being knew this, to an extent.

"I'll have water." Eighteen said, sounding like she'd rather be anywhere else in the world besides a pizza joint." What would you like, Marron?"

Marron. Eighteen never would've stepped foot into a pizza place if it weren't for her daughter, only because it was a special day for her. Today was Marron's first day as a teenager. January 13 th. . . Marron's birthday.

"Mmm. . ." Marron pointed to an item on her menu." I'll have a glass of tea. No, wait! I'll have water, no, scratch that. I'll have coke. . . no, no I don't want that either."- - Krillin chuckled at the confused state the waiter was slipping in- -" It all looks so good! Sorry, I can't decide."

A genuine warm smile spread across Eighteen's face.

"Why not order a glass of tea, water, and coke? It is your birthday after all." Krillin suggested." You can have anything you want. Right hon?"

Eighteen gave a curt nod. To anyone who didn't know her the way Krillin and Marron do, they would've thought Eighteen was peeved at having been called hon, when she was actually embarrassed. Krillin's warm words were welcoming but degrading to her ego at the same time. What would her brother think- - the mirror of herself- - if he saw how soft she'd become? She smirked, knowing her father was screaming in hell at the choices she made, which surely had to have made her brother happy.

Seventeen. . . often Eighteen felt a tinge of guilt for abandoning her brother. She'd spent many happy days surrounded by her family while her twin wandered the country side alone. Secluding himself from humanity seemed to be the only way he could control his blood lust. But it was better this way, their blood lust was almost uncontrollable when they were together. Eighteen struggled constantly with the need to destroy, like right now. It took everything she had not to blow up this pizza place and every annoying person in it. If it weren't for Krillin and Marron. . . she would.

"When were you born, Mom?" Marron asked, bringing her statuesque mother's attention on her. The waiter had brought their drinks long ago, and Eighteen hadn't even touched her water. Out of everyone in the world, Marron was the only one who looked at Eighteen without fear. Even Krillin feared his wife, but she liked that about him. Goku even watched her from the corner of his eyes when he dropped by on occasion to visit Master Roshi or Krillin.

Marron's pure, cucumber green eyes seemed to see things in people no one else could . Nobody was evil or revolting in her eyes. Marron was pure enough to have been born in the Son family, but it wasn't Goku or Chichi who were blessed with her, it was Eighteen and Krillin. Fate had to tame the evil flourishing inside Eighteen's heart somehow, what better way than to give her a gentle, frail, human version of herself?

"I was never born. I was made." Eighteen replied.

"When were you made?"

"Let's see. . . it's been fourteen years since Dr. Gero activated Seventeen and Eighteen." Krillin said, rubbing his hands in anticipation at the hot pizza the waiter set before them. " But I guess no one knows the exact day they were created. Trunks and I made sure all of Gero's records and computers were destroyed. Yum. Dig in everybody." Krillin fumbled with his slice of pizza, suffering the burning consequences of not being patient enough to use a spatula.

"YOU'RE fourteen years old?" Marron asked, with her eyes growing comically wide. " This practically makes us sisters!"

"No. I'm your mother." Eighteen replied, growing irritable at her daughter's inquiries. She didn't like the thought of being an older sister to her daughter. Siblings, in her experience, constantly fought for dominance. If Marron hadn't been born with Krillin's wide, curious eyes, she could've passed as an exact replica of Eighteen. In hopes of protecting his favored creation, Android Seventeen, Dr. Gero programmed Eighteen to never have the power or will to harm a replica of herself, which is basically what her twin, Seventeen, is.

Her database was partially right in assuming Marron was an exact replica of herself. All daughters and sons are "replicas" to their parents in some way. The problem is, like when she was with her brother, Eighteen has no choice but to submit to Marron's wishes. Most assumed she bent to the young girl's requests out of motherly love, which is partially true, but it's programmed into her to obey, not lead. So far, nobody has caught on. If Marron realises this, will she dethrone Eighteen's place as queen of their family?She is the sun that Krillin and Marron orbit around. She is the center of their universe, and she likes that. That power is something she never wants to let go of.

"I know, it's just a little wierd that you're my mom and only a year older than me. Are you sure you don't want to tell people we're sisters? I would like to be sisters."

To diminish any chances of a fight for dominance, which Marron would win, Eighteen had to crush all hopes of that happening." No. I'm you're mother. End of discussion." Eighteen snatched Krillin's plate of pizza, daring him with her eyes to say something. She could use an excuse to spar, the annoying atmosphere was more than she could take. She needed to relieve her stress somehow, but Krillin, the peace lover that he is, did not oblige.

He simply grabbed another plate and filled it with a cheesier, fatter slice. Sensing Eighteen was annoyed with him for some reason, he decided to add his input on the conversation he knew nothing about, but he knew the five words that would get him on Eighteen's good side no matter what the topic was about.

"I agree with your mother."

"I agree with her too." Marron said, pulling her straw away from the empty glass of coke and dipping it into the full cup of tea." But that's not the point. I just want to know when Mom was born so we can celebrate her birthday. I know _you_ don't like to celebrate _your_ birthday since it makes you feel old. Master Roshi is so old, he doesn't see the point in birthdays anymore." Marron slouched down in her chair until she could barely see over the table. " I feel like a spoiled brat sometimes. For once I would like to celebrate something that doesn't focus on me."

"Father's Day and Mother's Day," Krillin snapped his fingers. " Those days don't center around you."

"Dad," Marron whined." That's not what I mean."

Krillin laughed at Marron's embarrassed face, she hadn't been able to prove her point so far, and it was frustrating she couldn't get her parents to understand.

Eighteen understood.

"Birthdays can never exist for me Marron." Eighteen said, trying to smile, though she didn't feel like it. Eighteen always prided herself at being the perfect parent. She was an android but gave her daughter everything, from expensive dresses to a full belly, Eighteen did everything she could for her, and more. Other mothers were at least twenty years older than their daughters and had birthdays to celebrate, like a normal human family should.

"I'm sorry Mom, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

"Maybe Bulma can find out your birthday, babe." Krillin said, rubbing Eighteen's shoulder.

"No." Eighteen shook her head." Marron's birthday is all that matters to me. If she's happy, then I'll be happy."

"I am happy! See mom?" Marron shoved a slice of pizza into her mouth.

Nobody, except Eighteen, understood why Marron and Krillin forced themselves to laugh louder, and harder than anyone else in the restaurant. They became the noisiest, most annoying, enthusiastic customers to have ever walked into Pizza Pizza Kingdom.

Marron and Krillin dragged Eighteen into the arcade. Both smiled non stop, even when they couldn't win a prize out of the claw machine.

Eighteen had a horrible migraine by the end of the day.

"I'm glad this day is over." She muttered, hauling her exhausted husband and daughter into their beds.

It wasn't over. It had only begun.

* * *

~ TeeLee123 ~

I will update the next chapter soon, at least by friday. It's a two-shot people. Inspired by my mama and Uncle's birthday. January is a popular b-day month,I know SOOO many people ( 5) with b-days this month. If you were born in January then " HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"


	2. Chapter 2

~13 Bacwards pt. 2 ~

"Can you tell me what the date is?" Master Roshi asked, reaching out to cup Eighteen's butt. _Come to daddy! That's it. . . just a little further. . .bingo!_

"January 31st." Eighteen turned to kick him the moment his hands squeezed. It was her fault. Normally she wouldn't stand in front of him while he's watching his aerobic videos. She left herself wide open for his perverted advances.

"S-sorry beautiful. I was only reaching out for the remote. Heh, heh. Eyesight is the first thing to go you know." Master Roshi rubbed the swelling, red bruise on his bald head." Is something the matter Eighteen? You almost cracked my skull open."

Once, Eighteen did manage to crack his skull, only because he tried feeling Marron up. He never tried it again. The most he can do is flirt and buy her swimsuits, to which Marron and Eighteen don't mind. Marron loves receiving gifts, and Eighteen thinks the flirting is good for the young girl's ego. Whatever. He still manages to "accidentally" grope Eighteen from time to time, which keeps the old man hopeful to his upcoming days. A little action is better than none. Normally, Eighteen would give him three chances in a day before beating him. This was only strike one by his count.

"No. Nothing." Eighteen said, flipping her blond hair before taking a seat on the couch- - away from Master Roshi. He may be perverted, but he's still a wise old man that 's given Krillin and Goku wise advice over the years, mostly about fighting. She could use advice, but it isn't Eighteen's style to confide a weakness to anyone, including the annoying problem she was going through now. A simple problem, but annoying just the same. And her problem, just found her.

Marron plopped down next to Eighteen, not hearing the low groan escaping her. She flipped through the calendar she was holding and pointed to today's date." Isn't it wierd that my birthday and today's date have the same numbers? If we switched them around it'd almost be like it was the thirteenth again. Thirteen backwards is today, cool huh? I'm sure there's some mathematical word for this but I haven't found it yet. Hey, if I was an android like you I could've been named Android 13. It'd fit me best, don't you think?"

No. This wasn't a problem Master Roshi, Chichi, or even Bulma could help with. This was a mother problem that couldn't be solved. Her daughter was annoying, and there's no cure for annoying, except beer.

"You're not getting two birthdays in one month, Marron. Nice try."

Eighteen had never been more relieved to see Krillin, even if he was wearing an apron, holding a feather duster, and pushing a vacuum into the room. Marron let out an exasperated breath before stomping upstairs. Again, neither of her parents understood what she was trying to say, they never do.

"Hon, can you go to the store and pick up some soda?" Krillin dug into his wallet, searching for twenty zeni." And some meat? I feel like barbecuing something for dinner. . ." He'd just found the twenty zeni he was searching for when Eighteen took the wallet out of his hands.

Eighteen pecked him on the cheek." Thanks. I'll be back tonight."

The screen door slammed shut behind her.

"I have a feeling my wallet is going to come back empty."

The weather was always tropical at their house, which was secluded on an island out in the middle of the ocean. It surprised Eighteen that it was snowing in the nearest city. The cold did not affect her, even though she was wearing a short-sleeved denim vest over her white tank top, paired with skin-tight jeans. Feeling cold or hot did not exist for an android. Still, she had a human family to think about, trying to be as human as possible was the least she could do. Without giving it another thought, Eighteen went into her favorite designer store to buy a new outfit.

"Comment allez-vous?" The store manager asked, approaching Eighteen to give her a hug.

"Bien, merci." Eighteen replied. She was a valued customer and it pleased her that the manager knew this.

" What is it you're looking for che`re?" He placed his hand over her back and led her to their most expensive rack of clothes." Our new shipment is most magnifique!" He pulled a sleek black dress from the rack and held it in front of her." Beautiful, no?"

Eighteen glided the tips of her fingers over the dress." It is beautiful, but I'm looking for something. . . older."

Pierre, the store manager, took Eighteen's denim vest and jeans and threw them into a bag to give to charity. With her new ensemble, she would no longer be wearing those clothes. _Out with the old and in with the new_ was Pierre's motto, one Eighteen agreed with fully.

Eighteen frowned at herself in the mirror. The red cashmere sweater fit nicely on her torso, it stuck out well with the comfortable, black, satin pants and black heels. She held up her blond hair so Pierre could drape a string of pearls around her neck, completing her classy, motherly look. But it wasn't complete. Not yet.

" That will be thirty-one thousand zeni, Miss Eighteen. Will you be paying in cash or credit?"

Eighteen opened Krillin's wallet and held out his charge card.

Eighteen knew what she had to do. She and Marron really could pass as sisters. Androids never aged. Someday, Marron will be old enough to look like Eighteen's mother. With Krillin's rapidly greying hair, he could almost pass as Eighteen's father. There was only one thing she could do to look older- - cut her hair.

Bulma dressed more conservatively and cut her hair incredibly short as she adapted to the role of being a mother. Even the tomboy Videl abandoned her tomboyish ways, and began putting more effort into styling her hair. Her hair was atrociously short. A hideous haircut in Eighteen's opinion. Chichi didn't fit into that category, but that woman had the worst sense of fashion of them all, no way was Eighteen going to follow any fashion statements that woman made.

Unlike the saiyan wives, any haircut Eighteen decided to get would be permanent. Android hair doesn't grow back.

Eighteen ducked into the nearest hair salon, not bothering to read the sign giving a fair warning that this was a beauty school, filled with mediocre stylists that were just beginning their careers, anyone who walked through that door was just a guinea pig for them. At least the price was lower than any other salon she'd been in, for good reason too.

Eighteen skimmed through the books until she found a style she liked, an A-line hair cut. The hair closest to her face will stay shoulder length, but it will gradually get shorter towards the back of the head, where it will be buzzed cut. A style more suited to a teenager, but she figured makeup could play a big part in aging her. From what she saw of Bulma's example, make up can make any woman look years older.

"Wow, you have beautiful hair," The stylist, Jackie, said while fluffing Eighteen's hair.

Eighteen gave a smug smile, that said _I know_ more than _thank you_. " Don't mess up. If you do, you die."

"Right." Jackie had a feeling Eighteen wasn't joking around. Unfortunately, threatening the girl had only made her more nervous, causing her to shake like a lap dog.

Jackie spent ten minutes looking at Eighteen in the mirror, nodding and mumbling,"Mmm hmm." She tilted Eighteen's head to the left, then to the right. She held out different strands of hair as she struggled where to cut first. Eighteen had never had her hair cut before, but by the way the other stylists were snickering, she had a feeling Jackie wasn't the brightest star in the sky.

Jackie slapped her head playfully," Duh. Of course. I almost forgot to spray you down."

Eighteen didn't like the sounds of that, but Jackie had already grabbed the water bottle and began to spray Eighteen's hair before she could protest. Jackie might as well have dunked Eighteen's head in a bucket full of water since her hair was completely wet. It was too wet, but Eighteen didn't know that. Apparently, neither did Jackie since she began to snip at Eighteen's hair with the scissors.

Jackie plugged in the dryer so she could buzz the hair in the back when she finally realised her mistake. "Oops."

Eighteen wasn't faced in front of the mirror anymore, Jackie had spun her away from the mirror earlier, so she couldn't see what her hair looked like. Her stomach tightened when she heard the oops. She twirled in the chair to look at her reflection. What Jackie had forgotten was that hair shrunk when it dried, and while it was wet, she had cut Eighteen's hair shorter than she wanted. The longest part of her hair fell to the tips of her earlobe instead of her shoulders.

It could never grow back.

"EEK!" Jackie screamed as Eighteen snatched the dryer from her hands and threw it through the glass window. This must happen to her often since nobody looked surprised or stopped what they were doing. The customers waited patiently in their seats, flipping through magazines and the stylists chatted animatedly to their clients. Jackie was a dead woman walking, and knew she was on her own.

" Oh, no! Don't back me up guys! I can handle this freakishly strong woman on my own! I wouldn't want any of you breaking a nail calling the cops or anything!" Jackie shouted, placing her hands on her hips.

"Whatever Jackie. You're sweeping up the glass and that window is coming out of your paycheck."

Eighteen reached out and lifted Jackie up by her shirt collar, trying decide on the best way to kill her, _quick but painful or slow and horrible?_

"I can fix this!" Jackie stuttered. Eighteen tightened her girp, wishing she'd thrown her through the window instead." Really! I can! That hairstyle was out last season. I can make it so much better, really. I can give you a punk, sophisticated, slightly masculine hair cut. Most couldn't pull it off but you're so beautiful, you could pull off any style. And we'll make it bouncy, sex it up a little. Plus, we'll give you a refund and free coupons for our hair products!"

Who could pass up a sale like that? Not Eighteen. Luckily, Jackie was given a second chance and stayed true to her word, giving Eighteen a style she liked and best of all it made her look like she was in her early thirties! For now it will do. When Marron turns thirty, Eighteen will just have to start dying her hair grey or start wearing a wig, whichever.  
. . .

It was dark when she landed in front of their house. Krillin waved at Eighteen from the barbeque he was standing at. " Perfect timing, I was just lighting the charcoal. . . you look expensive!"

Eighteen rolled her eyes, shoving the bag of meat into his chest, along with his wallet." Here."

She opened the door and turned on the lights when Master Roshi, Oolong, and Marron popped out from the couch yelling," Surprise!"

Krillin squeezed past her holding a cake in his hands, with fourteen candles on it." Happy Birthday to you, Happy birthday to. . ." Everyone began to join in.

Marron slipped a birthday hat on Eighteen after the song ended. " Wow Mom, you look older. Pretty, but old." She gave a pouty look." Now we can't pass as sisters anymore. But you don't mind if your birthday is thirteen backwards, do you?"

Eighteen smiled. This was the best gift anyone has ever given her." Thirteen backwards is perfect."

"Today is the thirty-first. Speak proper grammar you guys." Krillin huffed, handing out slices of cake. His mood turned foul the moment he saw Eighteen in her new clothes. His wife had done it again, just when he finally finished paying last month's debt, Eighteen had to go on a shopping spree and push him back into the ten foot hole of debt. It will take him months to climb out of that hole again, but what's the point? She's just going to push him right back in, always.

_Oh well. I wanted a wife and I got one. Whatever makes her happy will make me happy. Yep, this is the good life._

"I'll be back," Eighteen said, grabbing a plate of cake before flying away.

"Where's mom going?"

"Probably going to see that brother of hers. Seventeen? If it's her birthday then that means it's his birthday too."

Marron regarded Master Roshi with a new-found respect." Wow, underneath that lecherous exterior, you're actually a sweet old man, aren't you?"

Master Roshi began to laugh, but stopped." Old? Who are you calling old? I'm in the prime of my life baby."

Krillin chuckled, Master Roshi was beyond old, he was ancient, practically an artifact. Krillin took a deep breath,_ It's now or never. Time to see how much damage she's done._ Krillin opened his wallet and sighed with relief, seeing he still had a good amount of cash in his wallet.

Yep. It was a good day and everyone was happy. . . until February 28th, when Krillin got the bill for his charge card. On that day, Krillin's hair turned completely grey.


End file.
